Comment: A hard days night.

Last updated : 10 December 2002 By Matty McGrath

Its been a hard days night, and ive been working like a dog, Its been a hard days night I should be sleeping like a …..Who am I kidding 3pm Greenwich Meantime … . errrr…urrrrmmm… equates to 2am local time for Evertonians in this part of the world. The neighbour hood is quiet. This Sunday morning is humid & balmy. Apprehension is high. A single cricket rubs his legs, the only break in the silence of a passive early morning.

Another routine Saturday night has passed. The wait is nearly over. Nearly time for the weekly taste of heaven, and the soft n sexy sounds .

1.55am time to connect, Darren should be there by now. Switch on machine. Only a password away from royal blue bliss. “Now when a guy here in Australia decides on a password to keep the tin lids, missus, and any other snoops at bay from his beloved and only link to to the gwladys street end”. An unbreakable code is needed. A word deep in the heart, and unbeknown or heard of to possible colonial hackers and children from monsterland. BOB LATCH….With the unbreakable encrypt enthusiastically punched into o the keyboard, the destination has been reached. Now lets find Darren.

“HELLO & WELCOME TOOOO GOODISSOOON PAARK TOODAY FOR TODAYS MATCH IM DARREN GRIFITHS” & “WELCOME TO EFC LIVE AUDIO”.

The silky scouse voice, stirs memories of days gone by and faces past & present. The feel of the stadium transcends rather well and better than one would expect streaming live via the Internet. Z-cars is clearly preceded by rapturous cheers as the blues enter the cauldron. Rasping Individual cheers for each of the supermen as the ground announcer reveals today’s team. Slouched across a giant armchair, Eyes closed, head set fixed, volume set to atmospheric level, I enter my seat at virtual goodison park.

The match implodes, Ibbeert great ball !, Stoobsy smashin tackle!. More Darren more, please. Ooooonsie valiant !, wide to Tomy Gravusuuun!, Campbell “GOAL” greeet strike 1-0 nil to the toffeeeees shrieks Darren. The tranquil twilight silence is shattered with a deadly roar. YES YOU f*#@, GET IN, YES,YES. Lights flick on. Dogs begin to howl. Children start to cry, curtains are drawn aside by all the excitement.

Weeks before , as I recall the night of the near heart exploding match against Arsenal, I turned to notice a puzzled looking neighbour, scratching at a double glass sliding door. As I was not home but at virtual goodison I had been unaware of my neighbours concern. “Are you Ok” ? he bellowed as I slid open the door. “Ok, I’m great”. “Mate you shoulda seen that goal”. “Special mate special”. A shake of the head, and a wave of the arm, the concerning citizen made his way home, to return to his slumber.

Full time and another win to my resurgent Heroes. Darren signs off with a cheery glowing tone. Satisfied with the weekly fix, its nearing 4am and some sleep will be required to crawl through the forthcoming day. However the sheer natural high of a resounding victory during the hours before daylight is ample inspiration to enjoying day on three hours sleep. What when things don’t go to plan, you may ask, that’s another story.

I read somewhere the other day, that’s it great being an evertonian at the moment. I summed this up and thought no! That’s wrong. It’s not great being an evertonian at the moment. Its always great being an Evertonian. I thought to myself then cheekily smiled. If it wasn’t for the Internet, and for services like my ole pal Darren’s, thousands of Evertonians in isolated outposts throughout the world, would be back to the depressing dark ages. These dark ages once again are a story in themselves and a topic for another time.

The neighbours now realise, the ritual they tolerate. The passion they implore. The sanity they question.